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Woebot 185

“I love you, Miss Susan,” said the little robot plaintively.

“That’s sweet,” she replied, bending down to press the button on the side of the robot’s head. With a click and a buzz, the light disappeared from the robot’s eyes, and its metal posture seemed to go slack. Susan sighed. She would have to call the manufacturers in the morning and order a new one.

She opened the door to the cupboard beneath the stairs, picked up the robot and placed it gently inside, next to the long line of other robots. Then she closed the door, and locked it.

I suppose three trends have lead Salt Publishing to its current financial difficulties:

  1. The lack of a viable commercial strategy for poetry, although it’s hard to imagine that one could ever exist.
  2. The parlous state of UK arts funding, a Labour legacy that manages to be both unexpected and unsurprising.
  3. The impending doom of the publishing industry at the hands of the web and its ruthless cheerleaders.

If you feel like bucking those trends – and why wouldn’t you? Summer is here, and surely the recession hasn’t hit your wallet that hard – then heed the words of Chris Hamilton-Emery:

As many of you will know, Jen and I have been struggling to keep Salt moving since June last year when the economic downturn began to affect our press. Our three year funding ends this year: we’ve £4,000 due from Arts Council England in a final payment, but cannot apply through Grants for the Arts for further funding for Salt’s operations. Spring sales were down nearly 80% on the previous year, and despite April’s much improved trading, the past twelve months has left us with a budget deficit of over £55,000. It’s proving to be a very big hole and we’re having to take some drastic measures to save our business.

Here’s how you can help us to save Salt and all our work with hundreds of authors around the world.

JUST ONE BOOK

1. Please buy just one book, right now. We don’t mind from where, you can buy it from us or from Amazon, your local shop or megastore, online or offline. If you buy just one book now, you’ll help to save Salt. Timing is absolutely everything here. We need cash now to stay afloat. If you love literature, help keep it alive. All it takes is just one book sale. Go to our online store and help us keep going.
UK and International
http://www.saltpublishing.com/shop/index.php

USA
http://www.saltpublishing.com/shop-us/index.php

2. Share this note on your Facebook or MySpace profile. Tell your friends. If we can spread the word about our cash crisis, we can hopefully find more sales and save our literary publishing. Remember it’s just one book, that’s all it takes to save us. Please do it now.

With my best wishes to everyone
Chris Hamilton-Emery
Director
Salt Publishing
http://www.saltpublishing.com

R.I.P.J.G.B.

J. G. Ballard was the ghostwriter for postwar English literature, standing at the shoulder of all writers who staked out the city or the suburbs1 whether they realised it or not. You’ll read about his literary achievements in the obituaries that spring up like mushrooms around his death yesterday, but I doubt that those achievements were his greatest pleasure. His last book, the autobiography Miracles of Life: Shanghai to Shepperton, is dedicated to his real achievement: the three children he raised as a single father after the death of his wife Mary in 1964.

My direction as a writer changed after Mary’s death, and many readers thought that I became far darker. But I like to think I was much more radical, in a desperate attempt to prove that black was white, that two and two made five in the moral arithmetic of the 1960s. I was trying to construct an imaginative logic that made sense of Mary’s death and would prove that the assassination of President Kennedy and the countless deaths of the Second World War had been worthwhile or even meaningful in some as yet undiscovered way. Then, perhaps, the ghosts inside my head , the old beggar under the quilt of snow, the strangled Chinese at the railway station, Kennedy and my young wife, could be laid to rest.

Ballard lived most of his life in the UK in Shepperton, which by meaningless coincidence is where my grandparents lived, and I like to imagine that I passed him many times on Shepperton High Street without realising it. I read everything I could find by Ballard when I was growing up – finding in his writing a survival kit that helped me to reconfigure suburbia as a place of strangeness rather than banality – so I suppose that I crossed paths with him in a literary sense; and that will have to be enough. R.I.P.

  1. Although not the countryside, which in literary terms I think would have been more alien to him than Mars. []

Stoop:

All of the rave reviews that often accompany your work tend to say that you’re a great “crime” writer, that you are rewriting the “crime” genre – crime this and crime that, basically. It’s not something I wholly agree with – there are crime elements to your novels but I think your work is more literary than its given credit for. I just wondered if it irked you at all, the tag you have of being a “crime writer”?

David Peace:

Not really – Dostoyevsky wrote crime; Kafka wrote crime; Brecht wrote crime; Orwell wrote crime. Dickens. Greene. Dos Passos. Delillo etc. But anyway, to me, these days “literary” just means British writers with their Creative Writing MAs wanting to write the “Great American Novel” and filling bookshops with unreadable shite, with no plots, no characters, no balls, no heart and, above all, no British Voice. The best work is always done in the margins and the genres: Burroughs and Ballard in Science Fiction; Iain Sinclair and Alan Moore; and I’m proud to share the same section of a shop as Ellroy, Mosley, Pelecanos and Rankin.

(H/T: k-punk on the television adaptation of the Red Riding sequence.)

(Bonus: A Mindless One on why David Peace should be writing Hellblazer.)

While reading this post, you should be listening to Little Brother by ‘O’rang.

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It’s time to admit that being published by Granta – even if only online – was one of my teenage ambitions. Granta published “The Coup” by Bruce Chatwin, the first piece of travel writing I remember reading, as well the first truly beautiful writing that I can remember. It was around the time that I started to wake up to the world, and Chatwin’s reports reassured me that one of the things that I wanted in my own life – the possibility of perpetual arrival – was out there, somewhere.

As I got older,  I realised that the Chatwin that I read about was a fictionsuit1 for the real Chatwin, and that he was dreaming himself into the world in much the same way as I was. It seemed that his world was far grander than mine until I got older still, and realised that the world that I read about in Chatwin’s books was also a fabrication – in the nonfiction as much as in the fiction.2

Bruce Chatwin flat out made shit up, and he never got seriously called on it. He was in a position of privilege – a published writer that would get the benefit of the doubt from the establishment – and those who would call him down had none of his resources. The playing field has changed since Chatwin was a literary superstar – the internet has made it possible for nearly anybody nearly anywhere to read my work, for which I am thankful. At the same time it’s created a feedback loop which makes it possible for nearly anybody nearly anywhere to point out any egregious errors in my writing.

I’m under no illusions that I’m half the writer that Chatwin was, but once my piece on northern Iraq in 1998 was published, I began to wonder whether my own recollections would stand up to scrutiny. My memories – shaky at the best of times – are over 10 years old now; I wasn’t able to check with Segwan, a key character in the piece, whether my memories of him were accurate, because I have no idea where he is now. Nobody has yet popped up to tell me that the Turkish army were never in northern Iraq (of course they weren’t, of course), but if I was a bigger fish (or Granta was a smaller pond) then I’m sure that they would.

Truth and accuracy are not the same thing, but unfortunately there’s a legion of pedants on the web who beg to differ. The internet has made it possible for us to (re)create ourselves on a scale that Chatwin would have envied, whether it’s as a serious blogger with serious thoughts or a firebreathing transexual avatar in Second Life.3 Following close behind, though, is the reverse of possibility, the closing down of possibility; the anti-possibility that we might be tracked all the time, whether in the anthropological enclosures of Facebook or further out in the wilderness, and that all of our creative acts of the self – all of our lies – might be hunted to extinction.

Chatwin was a genius because he sometimes let his imagination run away with him. What else do we lose if we lose that capacity for running away?

  1. Grant Morrison coined the phrase, he didn’t invent the concept. []
  2. Recommended reading: Nicholas Shakespeare’s biography of Bruce Chatwin. []
  3. That’s not me – my avatar is a heavy-set bloke with a beard and hawaian shirt. []

In theory:

Round and round this goes, with the people committed to saving newspapers demanding to know “If the old model is broken, what will work in its place?” To which the answer is: Nothing. Nothing will work. There is no general model for newspapers to replace the one the internet just broke.

- Clay Shirky

In practice:

In the 1990s, Mr. Cohen chronicled, in person, the horrors that accompanied Yugoslavia’s dissolution. Today, correspondents doing such work can find their time being sucked away by the profusion online of viewpoints and images and tweets from the scene, which multiply and demand attention. But keeping abreast of the Internet chatter is not the same as bearing witness.

- Anand Giridharadas (via Andrew Stroehlein)

In the field:

Last week one of my newspapers asked me to go to Tanzania. The cost was going to be $1100, about $500 of which was simply the flight. With the pound now running so low against the dollar this would be a hefty investment for a newspaper that paid in Sterling. Thanks very much, they said, but that’s too much.

- Rob Crilly

When I was younger I dreamed of being a foreign correspondent; it looks like I made the right career choice, since it’s hard to see how the profession can survive the tidal wave that Shirky is tracking. It’s actually not hard to see what will replace it, but that’s not something that I want to talk about, since it makes me want to lie down in a dark room.

Writing about writing is usually a bad idea – who wants to hear about how you spent the day staring at a light switch and wondering how to get from A to B in your head? Mental. The Guardian has interviews with some name writers about how they feel about writing which are short enough to swallow without feeling nauseous, and which features a great quote from John Banville:

The novelist daily at his desk eats ashes, and if occasionally he encounters a diamond he is likely to break a tooth on it. Money is necessary to pay the dentist’s bills.

Ah John, you old pseud – your Polish literary references are wasted on the Guardian readership. Where’s the revolutionary fervour that shouts “Tear down the dentists”? Now, back to staring at light switches.

Granta magazine have taken it upon themselves to publish my recollection of northern Iraq at the end of the 1990s, entitled Fly Away Home. It’s a long while since I thought about Iraq, but now that it’s in my forebrain I’m writing another piece, this one about suicidal gypsies in Baghdad. Enjoy this one, and spread the word…

The straps only get tighter.

You ready?

Ready in two.

It’s for his own protection. It’s hard to talk with the restraints around his jaw. Last time round in this contraption, he nearly bit his own tongue clean off.

Jst gt n wth t, mthrfckr.

The red light on the camera blinks in disbelief, and then it begins.

SILK-LINED COFFIN PRODUCTS

present

SURFING AGONY

Ice ricochets through his veins. He smells something burning, most likely hair. They always shave before they start, but when the nerves are playing pinball with your fingers you always miss a bit here or there, and then they start to fizzle when the switches drop. One of the other voices says,

He’s burning.

Leave him.

He’s lost in a country below the country he came from, where their sort of sport is prohibited. People still watch them in the country he came from. You can’t stop people watching, not unless you want to become like those other countries, countries where people aren’t allowed to watch what they want. Because in that sort of country, that sort of sport is… well, it’s safe to say that the sport has been perfected here. So they exercise due caution, but there are always stray patches of hair smoldering here and there.

Did he say something?

I didn’t hear anything.

The fucking cable hum is killing the audio on this one.

It’s amazing how many thoughts you can fit into such a short space of time. Each of them has something different to get them through. G-Jax counts and ranks the women he’s fucked. Hallo Gritty recites proofs for irrational numbers under her breath. Firebreathing pictures himself beating his ex-boyfriend to a pulp. Nobody said they were a healthy bunch. Read the rest of this entry »

A strange unit

Philip K Dick was born this week in 1928 – December 16th, to be precise – and died in 1982. I’m fairly comfortable proposing that in fact he did not die, but was memetically reverse-engineered into a viral fiction calling itself “The Empire Never Ended”, then re-inserted into his own lightcone around 1940. If you think that sounds strange, then you’ve obviously never read any of his books, and I suggest that you remedy this as quickly as possible. His official website offers little in the way of enlightenment, but I recommend Robert Crumb’s cartoon of one of the key episodes in his history.

People often ask me why I never took drugs when I was younger. The short answer: reading Philip K Dick is like taking drugs, except the effects never wear off.

While reading this post, you may enjoy listening to Heart’s A Mess by Gotye.

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a. By far the most interesting thing about LitCamp was that elephant sitting at the end of the table, the internet. Keith Ridgway was the provocateur on a panel discussion about what the future of publishing will be in the “Digital Age”. General conclusion: nobody knows.

b. Personally I think that publishing as an industry will die the death of a thousand digital cuts, now that the barrier to entry for writers has been lowered to zero by the internet. The only way that writers will be able to make a living is through a) selling rights for viable media such as television, and b) setting up alternative revenue streams on their own terms.

c. More on that later. Let’s not think about the publishing, but about the writing. Writing is a solitary activity. which means that the Web sets up an interesting creative tension between the character of the writer and the requirements of the audience. When I sit down to write, I’m writing for myself, an audience of one who can read back instantly and tell me if he likes it. (Usually he doesn’t.)

d. Contrast this with blogs. Some bloggers might claim to be writing for themselves, but they’re not. If they were writing for themselves, they’d keep a journal, or a text file on their computer. When I write a blog post, I’m superbly conscious that I’m not writing for myself – I’m writing for somebody out there. Guaranteed publication = guaranteed self-censorship for anybody with any sense of dignity.

e. So this process of writing is profoundly different to that first type of writing, because when you’re writing online there’s the expectation of interaction. If you blog, you’re looking for comments; or for links from other blogs citing you; or at least people whispering behind your back.1

f. Either way – interaction or validation – neither of those are true of “creative” (ahem) writing, the sort of writing where you try to push out 2000 words of a novel per day for 60 days. How could it be? I second-guess myself all the time as it is, continually criticising and cajoling and confusing myself about my own writing – imagine if I had other people reading my stuff in real time! I’d never get anything done!2

g. Yet the tension is there. Why did I post that first draft of a poem? Why am I thinking about posting my latest short story in its entirety? I can’t honestly say I’m looking for interaction – once I write the final version of something, I consider it “out there”, like a child that grew up and left home. Comments are nice, feedback is nice, but it’s not really interaction. Is it?

h. So what’s the future of writing in a Digital Age? Where are the new forms of writing, O Future Of The Book? Where can I find innovation in storytelling, Penguin Avatar? Is it all just stale downloads and rubbish websites? Why does nobody hail Geoff Ryman as the first writer to really try something really exciting?

i. I don’t have the answers. Writers with blogs? Try Belinda Webb. Poets with blogs? Try Jay Bernard. Publishers with blogs? Try Michael Bhasker. Nobody has the answers, but we keep on writing anyway.

  1. More specifically I have a sneaking suspicion that the real motive behind blogging is the expectation of validation – that other people will read what you’ve written and think or say or write “Hey, I agree with you!” []
  2. Of course, I don’t get much done as it is, but that’s another story. []

Flying Dream Number Three

I am the bullet, your dream of flying.
My path takes me low across the land
“On wings” – not on wings,
I fly on laws of physics, arc and drop,
Closer like a camera until I can’t hold back
The camera lens bumps his nose
Canned laughter erupts in the kino -

This is not comedy.
I break bone, I break skin,
I break people and I break him,
Just as you wanted.
I am not the dream of flying;
I must be that other dream,
The one that ends in tears.

Far behind me, you forget me,
Your trusted messenger,
The dream you dreamt
Seconds before your finger crooked,
Trigger click and muzzle flash.
Now flip the sight, lock the case,
Now roll on your back and breathe.
You look like him, you know,
The man I killed when you asked me to,
Lying there all loose-limbed on the land.
You know too well that one day
One of my brothers might come for you.

(Unfinished on the train, September 2008)

I try to explain to him what it means and how it feels, and while I’m talking I wonder whether those two things are the same.

Imagine that you speak a language that only one other person in the world speaks. You don’t even think about it as a language – it’s just the world you inhabit together. One day you wake up and that person is gone, and that means that your language is gone, as if it never existed. You can’t capture or call it, and words start to fade from the pages of your memory. People tell you – there are other languages in the world. Losing this language – why, that gives you the opportunity to learn one of these other languages instead! It’s true, you can learn another language – but it won’t be the language that you’ve lost, and your tongue will still be silenced. The worst knowledge of all, though, is that as the language leaves you like rain soaking back into the earth, you’re also losing the memory of the person that you spoke it with, the one person who shared that world with you.

I watch his face to see if he understands, but it long ago ceased to matter. I’m dreaming of words that I will never hear again, and inside I weep for the voice that is gone forever.

It’s not easy.

I love Pakistan; loved it so much, I never wanted to leave. Luckily, the Pakistani authorities felt exactly the same way – they never wanted me to leave either. Let’s take the checks one by one, so you know exactly what to expect:

1. The Bouncers. They check your ticket to make sure that you really have a ticket. Presumably some Pakistanis turn up at the airport with bags packed, but sans ticket – just in case they’re booked on a flight, but forgot. The bouncers also take on the additional responsibility of beating off any members of your extended family who managed to get through airport security.

2. Customs. They rifle through your luggage listlessly; when quizzed, they seem unsure what they’re supposed to be looking for. Once they reach a certain level of uncertainty, they give up. Having removed the entire contents of your suitcase, you must repack everything while the extensive queue behind you grows progressively more bloodthirsty. Once you’ve finished, they’ll scrawl something illegible in your passport and tell you to sod off.

3. Customs (Second Attempt). One pompous ass checks your passport to make sure that his more uncertain colleagues have done their job correctly and scrawled something illegible in your passport. If he’s happy with the level of illegibility, he’ll wave you through imperiously; if he’s not happy, he’ll call all of his colleagues over for a short conference lasting no more than 15 minutes. You may be required to repeat Step 2.

4. Security, Part One. This comprises:

  • A large and clearly hazardous scanning machine that occasionally breaks down, leaving your bag trapped inside.
  • A scanning machine operator who has come to terms with his mortality and is fully prepared to get inside the radioactive monster to force your luggage through.
  • A back-up operator who is ready to take over at a moment’s notice, should his colleague still be inside the machine when it starts again (which would presumably require his immediate hospitalisation, or possibly burial).
  • An attractive but unsmiling woman who will check your bag for metal objects, and radioactivity.

5. Security, Part Two. If your bag gets trapped in the machine, it must be dangerous. Therefore it will be searched.

6. Check-in. Finally we get to the actual check-in desks. Service varies depending on the will of Allah. There may be some confusion amongst the airline staff regarding which airline you are flying with, which desk you should check in at, and what they’re supposed to do with this piece of paper you’ve handed them. Use this opportunity to steel yourself for the next series of checks.

7. Embarkation. I hope you remembered to fill out the Government of Pakistan Embarkation Card, because this man wants to take it and stamp your passport. What do you mean, nobody told you about the Embarkation Card? You’ll need to go back to Step 6 (Check-in) and see if they have any left. It is possibly but not likely that your Embarkation Card will be stored alphabetically with the other 8,000 Embarkation Cards he has taken that day.

8. Random Step One. I’m never entirely sure what this guy is doing, and neither is he. Mainly, he wants to see your passport and boarding card. I guess they just gave him a stool and told him to find himself something to do. He seems happy enough.

9. Random Step Two. These guys are in a similar position to Random Step One. The only difference between Random Steps One and Two is that the lucky devils at Random Step Two were given a big desk to be random behind, rather than just a stool. With a dandy flourish, they’ll stamp your boarding card for you, whether you want it stamped or not.

10. Security, Part Three. The scanning machine is smaller, but this is much the same deal as Security Part One (see above). At this point, you will start to experience an overwhelming sense of déjà vu.

11. Security, Part Four. Identical to Security Part Two, above.

12. Clickety-Click. Another stamp on your boarding card AND on your hand luggage tags. What, nobody gave you any hand luggage tags? It’s back to the Check-in (Step 6, above) for you!

13. The Gate. Once you’re into the waiting area, there’s only one gate – but it’s a treat! As per normal airport practice, they’ll check your boarding card when your flight is ready to depart. The catch here is working out when your flight is ready to depart, since announcements tend towards the incomprehensible. At first I thought that this was because the announcements were in Urdu; but when I listened more closely, I realised that they were in English. It was the ancient PA system that made them sound like Urdu.

14. Random Step Three. This man checks to make sure that your hand luggage has been tagged (step 6) and then stamped (step 14). Why does he do this? Who cares at this point. Just let me on to the bus to the plane. No bus today? Fine, I’ll walk. Just get the hell away from me. GET AWAY FROM ME.

15. One Last Check, For Terrorists. You thought you were free. At the steps to the plane, another uniformed guard will check your boarding pass to make sure that you’re not an intruder who has managed to get past the other 14 checks. God knows, if I were a terrorist in Pakistan, I’d pick an easier target. America, or the Moon, or something.

16. Boarding Card, Please. Your soul destroyed, you trudge up the steps to the plane, where an airline steward will check your boarding pass and let you know where to sit. You can breathe a sigh of relief – you have finally managed to leave Pakistan. Unless you’re flying with Pakistan International Airlines; in which case you have another 8 hours to enjoy Pakistan’s rich tradition of service and hospitality.

While reading this post, you should be listening to Perfect Bird by Hexstatic and Missalu Aduna by Omzo.1

Dave Steinberg writes a column on How much do we have to care about? with annotations by Ethan Zuckerman. Both of these men are very intelligent, both write very well and both are concerned with how the internet can improve the human condition. So why are both of them so egregiously wrong?

MAKE ME THE OTHER

Dave and Ethan’s worries can be divided into two questions:

The population of Nigeria roughly equals the population of Japan. Yet, the amount of space given to Nigeria by the US news media makes it about the size of Britney Spears’ left pinky toe. Why?

Because Nigeria has virtually no historical connections to the US, almost no strategic value in relation to US interests, and is a long way away. It’s also because the US news media is a terrifying joke, but that’s a more general observation than the topic under discussion.

How can we get past our homophily — the love of that which is like us — to get to xenophilia, which is Ethan’s term for the love of that which is different. How can we change the media agenda?

Of course, the media agenda is not responsible for our homophily – my hunch is that they’re only tenuously related for the purposes of effecting change, since homophily is about as deep-rooted a human instinct as it’s possible to find. It’s not the only deep-rooted human instinct, though, on which more, later.

In fact, they don’t mean how can we love that which is different. In the cosmopolitan stretches of the world, we already love that which is different (what authentic ethnic cuisine would you like tonight?) to such an extent that we forget that most of the world isn’t like that.

THE POWER OF PLACE

What we have difficulty with is that which is distant – that which happens outside our line of sight. But what is inherently good about loving that which is distant? If we invest in this, we run the risk of diminishing our love of that which is closest – our own culture. Given my professional and personal interests, you’ll have a hard time persuading anybody that I’m xenophobic – but I’m not so egocentric that I think that my interests should be everybody else’s interests.

The power of place will continue to exert a hold on human psychology because humans have to live in a physical world where distance and difference matter. The internet may not see those distances (although I think that the internet just reconfigures those distances rather than eliminates them) and the internet may help those already predisposed to xenophilia to get their fix – but the internet isn’t going to make people care more.

CARING IS NOT ENOUGH

Ethan adds:

You might add something about why this “circle of not-caring” matters. My stock examples for this are the genocide in Rwanda, and terrorist training camps in central Asia. We don’t care about these places until it’s too late…

This is where my alarm starts to go off. Who is this mysterious “we” that Ethan is talking about? It would be nice to think that “we” is the community of humanity, but in reality it means “people like me”, which elides into “a particular type of American”. Quite a lot of people cared about the genocide in Rwanda – I understand that most of the population of Rwanda itself got involved – just the “right” people (i.e. those with the power to do anything about it) and not in the “right” way (i.e. to turn caring into a workable policy).

The Save Darfur Coalition has made a huge number of people in the US care about Darfur – yet as far as I can tell, it’s had absolutely no impact on people of Darfur, except possibly to ensure a constant stream of celebrity access). There’s a danger in thinking that caring means anything, because the bad news is that caring – whether a little or a lot – doesn’t mean anything. Acting can mean something, but there’s a danger in action that is just a form of externalized caring – which is what I’d argue a lot of the Save Darfur campaign is.

CURSING THE FAMILIAR

Kwame Appiah’s book, “Cosmopolitanism”… observes that this opportunity to care about fellow creatures in far-flung parts of the world is very, very new. Two hundred years ago, only the most learned city-dwellers would regularly interact with people of other “tribes”.

I’m looking forward to reading Cosmopolitanism at some point in my hopefully long life, but this argument strikes me as being nonsense. The history of civilisation is the history of contact – Europe has been a patchwork of competing factions (tribal or otherwise) for most of its history, as has most of the world. It strikes me that what this idea overlooks the simple facts of history in order to set up a strawman that supports a philosophical theory – but I haven’t read the book yet, so I could be wrong.

I call this “cursing the familiar” because it underplays the significance of local differences purely because they are so familiar. All those differences between different countries, different groups, different towns – they’re simply not different enough. We need something more exotic to get our juices flowing, right? Our own cultures, our own histories, are fascinating enough and need as much attention as Nigerian ninjas (or whatever you find exciting).

This isn’t an argument for parochialism; it’s an argument for recognizing that the familiar is important as well, particularly in a society such as ours where novelty is emphasized at the expense of continuity.

JESUS CALLED, HE WANTS A REFUND

This idea that we might need to care about all of humanity – or at least tolerate them in our interactions – is brand new, and starkly conflicts with basic human impulses – care for our family and tribe and fear the outsider.

This is nonsense. Christianity is 2000 years old, and has exactly this message; so do almost all of the world religions in some form, some more than others, some older than others. I agree that it conflicts with our basic impulses, which is why it hasn’t been particularly successful. However human society and economy are built on tolerating outsiders, so unless Ethan wants to argue that the last several thousand years of human history didn’t happen, it doesn’t seem a particularly strong argument.2

What was so exceptional about Nelson Mandela wasn’t that he was an amazing and vocal leader for black South Africans – it was that he showed compassion and understanding for white South Africans, including deKlerk. Figures who can care across borders are heroes in a very particular and recognizable fashion.

This isn’t quite true, and it reflects a common misperception about what it means to care about the world. We admire people who “care across borders” because of our philosophical and religious legacy. The Christian model of the martyr is the Christ figure, who sacrifices themselves for others – but there’s no value in a sacrifice if it doesn’t actually make things better for other people. Mother Teresa is a good example – widely admired, caring across borders, etc, and demonstrably an utter loss in actually improving people’s condition. We should admire people who make a significant difference in the material condition of the human race, not just those who fit a discredited religious model.

EQUALITY IS IN THE EYE OF THE BEHOLDER

But Ethan is not arguing that newspapers ought to cover every village and every family. Rather, our newspapers should equally cover places that are of equal significance, or at least not be so blatantly out of balance. Nigeria’s population is as big as Japan’s, and while its economy is not on a par with Japan’s, it’s of growing importance to us. So, why the disparity? And, more important, how do we remedy it?

“Equally cover places that are of equal significance” is meaningless. What is “equal significance” for economists might not be of equal significance for environmentalists; what is “equal significance” for musicians might not be of equal significance for mountaineers. If there are more musicians out there than economists, does that mean that the musicians’ definition give their interests more significance? The reason why coverage of Israel and the surrounding countries is so prevalent in the US media is precisely because so many people find it significant – you may disagree with them, but what makes your view more “significant” than theirs?

The strength of the internet is to provide a platform where all these slices of significance can be found – and if they can’t be found, you can create your own slice of significance. Saxophone-playing members of the Austrian school who like base-jumping can (and do) generate their own content. But the message is – it’s not up to you, me or anybody else to remedy the imbalance on behalf of anybody else, no matter how offensive we might find that imbalance. The most we can do is to improve the chances of the victims of imbalance to strike back (which is something that I think Global Voices Online does quite nicely).

But, there is a serious dilemma here…Our interest is determined not by what we should be interested in but by what we happen to be interested in.

I find this frankly odd. I’m not sure why this is supposed to be a problem – if our interest isn’t determined by what we happen to be interested in, then what should it be determined by? Who judges what we “should” be interested in – people like Dave and Ethan, who have a higher state of consciousness? For somebody who’s a big believer in the power of collective individual action, Dave doesn’t seem convinced that the wisdom of crowds is working well in this instance, because it collides with his own perceptions.

MORE TRUE THAN ANYTHING ELSE IN THE ARTICLE

Thus, if newspapers or their online replacements become more proportionally accurate reflections of the world, we’ll just skip the sections we don’t care about. That’s what we do already: Everything you ever wanted to know about Nigeria is online, but you haven’t read hardly any of it, have you? Me neither.

You have just answered your own question about why there isn’t more coverage of these places, haven’t you? If you guys, of all people, aren’t interested enough to follow up on Nigeria, then why on earth do you expect the broadcast media to follow it up?

Maybe one conclusion to draw is that good writing is harder than we thought. Or maybe there is more good writing around than we think, but we need help finding it.

I think it’s safe to say that good writing is harder to find than you think. The vast, vast majority of writing on the web is banal dross, cattleprod cant or porn.

As is so often the case, the question isn’t whether the Web has solved a problem but whether it’s helped.

Absolutely true, and it seems clear that it has helped and will continue to help.

But on the Web there are multiple, overlapping personal and social agendas. Which results in there not being an agenda. There is thus no one putting broccoli on our plates and telling us to eat it.

Yet here you are, telling us that we’re not eating enough from the xenophile buffet?

I don’t want to dismiss Dave and Ethan’s concerns, because they are smart and they are engaged and that’s important – yet if I was being cruel, I would have to say that this whole piece smacks to me of annexing the world in the name of entertaining Americans. Mostly, their complaint is that other people don’t share their particular interests – even while they acknowledge that even they don’t share their particular interests (they haven’t read most of the online material about Nigeria, remember).

There’s nothing wrong with being a xenophile, but you shouldn’t expect everybody else to be a xenophile as well. Even if there are Nigerian ninjas involved.

  1. However I couldn’t upload them today, so you’ll have to wait. Read anyway. []
  2. If he’s taking a long-term evolutionary view, then you can argue that several thousand years is still brand-new, but I don’t think he is arguing that. []

This all is a séance -
We asked you to join us,
We want you to feel that
Your presence is welcome.
We want you to feel that
Your input is valued,
Your presence required to
Put flesh on these bones.

To spell R-S-V-P
By glass on these letters,
To force us to feel you.
We want to feel something.
Snake fingers through fingers
To bind us together;
One side of the table
Stays cold to the touch.

(Make us regret that
We ever doubted
That you existed
Join hands with us now.)

Your life is a séance
And you are the ghost here.
Now time’s of the essence,
Your essence time, und
Deine Seele ohne Körper
Wann Körper ist alles
We drink to your health, sir,
While toasting your death.

The red curtain twitches,
Chairs rock without warning;
If we’re at the threshold,
Which side do we sit on?
Now beg us to enter,
Now tell us you need us,
Now help us remember,
How much we love life.

May 2007

Apart from Colossal Squid, I am also a huge fan of Airwolf, and have long been an advocate of the use of Airwolf as an adjective (RIP Young Dave).

Your Powerpoint presentation was Airwolf

Unfortunately that just didn’t fit with WFP’s corporate vision, the losers, so I survived in the Airwolf underground for years. However it may not be possible to conceal my true allegiance for much longer, as I am about to place a bid on a full-size Airwolf Replica.

The full size Airwolf replica was made with an existing Bell 222A airframe. The side panels, nose panel and refueling port were all made from the specs from the original Airwolf and are exact. The ADF pod and chainguns are not included in this auction, but will be available if anyone is interested.

You’re damn right I’m interested in the chainguns. For all those pundits wringing their hands about what can be done to help the people of Burma, the answer is a single word – Airwolf.

It’s a terrible thing that I have done and now it’s too late to take it back.

As I take that first and final step, I wish that Jane was here with me, to hold my hand as I fall. I never dreamed that I could be that selfish. There’s a brief moment where I feel like Wile E. Coyote racing across the abyss, and then friend gravity takes my hand instead. The cars shuffle past like a deck of cards, too fast for the eye to follow. I wish I had never done this, but I remember why I did it. If I had my genie, three wishes in my pocket, and if I was standing up there again -

I would do it exactly the same, and I would regret it exactly the same, and I wouldn’t wish this on anybody. It feels as if I was always waiting, and now everything is happening at once. Each storey is a second less of life, and it takes so long for the seconds to pass. I can’t keep my eyes open. The wind hurts them. And I can’t breathe, the air isn’t in my lungs any longer. Before I close my eyes one last time, what can I see?

A short way down the road below me, there’s a man standing next to a sports car who hasn’t seen me, yet. There’s three council bins, neatly lined up, coming closer and closer. There’s a skip parked outside a building site opposite, full to the brim with twisted metal and concrete blocks, garnished with fast food packaging. A cat jumps from the skip in alarm. It can’t see me but it knows I’m here. The man next to the car sees the cat, and then he glances up and he sees me. He doesn’t look surprised. It seems like he recognises me, but how can I see that when I can’t even focus on my own hands in front of me, how can I see his face so clearly? He smiles. I wish -

I wish -

- now I can’t even remember why I’ve done this. Three wishes, you promised me three wishes –

- I wish.

Oh, Jane. I love you. I -

Nostrum #4

“One should buy clothes befitting the person one wishes to be, rather than the person one in fact is.”

Happiness

Happiness is a garishly coloured parrot that sits on his shoulder and squawks in his ear all day long, providing a running commentary on how great everything is.  When he can’t stand any more, he tries to grab it by the neck; but it simply topples off his shoulder and flaps around the room, easily evading his clutches.  Once he gives up, it flies back and takes up its recital again:

“That sunset is just phenomenal.  Things are going well for you at work this year.  Mmm, that burrito was a good choice.  You know, these Sunday mornings really are a special time.”

He hates the parrot.  He hears what it’s saying, and he agrees with almost everything (although he wasn’t entirely sure about that burrito), but he just doesn’t… feel it.

He knows that he’ll always have to carry the parrot, and he knows that he’ll never get used to it, and he knows that nobody else will ever understand what he goes through.  He’s absolutely certain about these things right up to the moment when he sees a girl standing on the far side of the room at a party, watching him.

No – she’s not watching him, but watching his parrot, staring very carefully at his parrot as if she can’t believe her eyes.  Here’s what’s funny, though.  His parrot – his parrot has stopped squawking.  He turns his head to look at it – completely silent, completely still, as if it’s been stunned by heatstroke – and realises that it’s staring back at the girl.

He looks back at her, and meets her gaze for the first time, and smiles.  It’s only then that he realizes that his parrot isn’t looking at her at all; it’s looking at the parrot that’s sitting on her shoulder; completely silent, completely still.

Nostrum #3

Diligentia: “If what you have just said is indeed true, then which of these things is more precious – justice, or liberty?”

Tergiversatio: “To the free, liberty – for they fear that they may lose it. To the unfree, justice – for they hope that they may gain it.”

Nostrum #2

 

Reality plus Hope equals Life

Some people think that all of my writing revolves around death. I say that they’re completely wrong. Here’s the opening lines from a short story I’m working on at the moment. It’s about what life would be like if death wasn’t such a big deal.

See?

It kind of freaked me out the first time Drew showed up.

“Pizza yo,” he said when I opened the door.

I’d taken the box from him before I noticed. Not that I wouldn’t have taken the box from him if I’d noticed first. “You’re dead, right?”

“Sure,” he said easily, “You got a problem?”

“No, man. How much?” We get a lot of that now, but Drew was the first that I’d met, and I tried to play it low-key. “You’re the first dead guy I met.”

“’S an honour.” He bowed low, and I wondered if he’d been able to bow like that when he was alive.

I suddenly realised that with the pizza box in one hand and my beer in the other, I was going to have difficulty paying. “Listen, you want a beer?”

“Nah, man, I got like a dozen deliveries to make. Gotta roll.”

“Cool. Hey, listen, did you get any problems with that gig?”

“Nah man. They were civil. This was my old job, you know – before.”

“Hey, right. Give me a second to get the cash.”

“No es un problema.”

I headed for my bedroom, looking for somewhere to put down the beer and/or the pizza. From somewhere in the apartment came the sounds of Erin going about Erin business. She was humming, that humming she does that’s more like singing, or shouting, depending on how you look at it, or listen to it. Drew stayed outside, which was good ‘cause I don’t know how she’d be reacting to a dead guy in the apartment, but when she came out of her room, of course the first thing she said was, “Holy shit, that guy’s a zombie!”

Erin!” I hissed, feeling like maybe I should put the pizza down on her, except it would be a waste of a Pepper and Pepper Ronnie Special.

“Hey, uh, we don’t – you know, we don’t like that word,” called Drew from the hall.

Great, now you’ve pissed him off,” I whispered, but he heard me too.

“Nah, man, it’s cool. Lotta people don’t get it. We just got to educate, you know?”

“I’m sorry,” said Erin, still worried that he might bite her head off, metaphorically speaking. Or possibly literally. “I’m sorry.”

“Serious, it’s cool. You got those bills for me yet?”

“Here you go,” I pushed the money at him, even though I wasn’t sure how, because I was still holding the beer and the pizza. He counted it off and looked up at me with a lop-sided grin and one eye, which I only just noticed. I pointed up, “They let you drive with just the one eye?”

“Stereo vision is over-rated. Anyway, I got GPS in the car. Thanks, man,” holding up the cash and retreating down the hallway. I shut the door behind him and blew out a breath with the O-mouth.

Erin popped up in front of me and grabbed the pizza box. “Did you ever get the feeling – like somebody just walked over your grave?”

“Hardy-fuckin-har. Wow. That was weird, right? That was weird.”

“He seemed cool.”

“No, he seemed cool. I didn’t mean him personally. But shit, he’s dead.”

“They’re all dead these days.”

She was right.

Nostrum #1

 

“If suffering was wisdom, man would be wise indeed. Yet man is not wise; and suffering is best avoided.”

One of my short stories won the Leaf Books open short story competition last year, and has now been published as the title story in an anthology called “The Light that Remains and other stories“. You can buy it online at the Leaf Books website and eventually through Amazon (I hope).

“The Light That Remains” is a spare and unsentimental story about death, except it’s not. It’s about how to look at the world differently, except the main character is blind. It’s about reading, except that nobody opens a book throughout the whole story. It’s about London, except it’s the London that most people forget about.

I enjoyed writing it, and you might enjoy reading it. Why not buy a copy and let me know how it goes?

Golden Blind Man by Darren Levant

Photo: Golden Blind Man, by Darren Levant.