This is who the corporations are telling you is cool,
This is who the corporations are telling you to listen to:
Here’s our end-of-year best-of-lists;
Here’s our coolest journalists
Taking a trip to the coolest city in the world
With people who aren’t like you or me.
Or maybe they’re just like you and me -
How would you know?
This is who the corporations are telling you is cool.
This feature article is trying to tell you something:
This spontaneous photo opportunity just happened!
You could have been there, and you weren’t.
Are the corporations telling you I’m cool yet?
Are the corporations telling you to listen to me?
You should listen to me if they tell you,
You might learn something:
You might learn how to be cool.
Poor poor corporations whispering in your ear,
Like that kid at school that nobody liked,
Because deep down the corporations want to be cool.
That’s why they’re telling you who is cool
Because, if you finally believe them,
Then you’ll think they’re cool too.
So it’s karaoke blind dates in Tokyo with -
So it’s urban gardening in Buenos Aires with -
So it’s hacker protests in Tallin with -
So it’s organic microbreweries in Portland with -
So it’s hip-hop quotables in Nairobi with -
So it’s -
Whispering in your ear: am I cool yet?
Am I cool yet? Am I cool yet?
I’m linking your article,
I’m keeping my distance,
Trying to keep my cool.
Am I cool yet?
Postscript: the weirdest thing about this article is how fucking boring that trip sounds.
